House Rules


My girlfriend and I decided that, as long as it was put on the board we kept in the kitchen for all to see, either one of us could make sweeping declarations instituting new house rules. Had this required a vote or at least a quorum discussion for new rules to be ratified, I feel like some of them may have been better thought through.

The system started out reasonable, things like “Thou shalt wash your dishes within a day of their making or thou shalt wash the other person’s dishes for the following day.” The declarations, however, started to get out of hand and more indulgent, but rules are rules, so every time we eat, a prayer is said in thanks to the flying spaghetti monster, closed toed shoes are not worn on Sundays, and there is at least one Nerf gun stashed in every room.

As things escalated they became more like challenges than rules. Now neither of us are allowed to wear more clothes than underwear when we are both home, under the penalty of paying for dinner the next time we eat out. This seemed like a great idea at the time, as I do appreciate looking at her naked, but like I said, we didn’t really think it through.

Her parents are on their way over now, and it’s turned into a game of chicken.


9 responses to “House Rules

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