Fleshy Teeth

FleshyTeethThe flesh that grew over Lawrence’s teeth made eating excruciatingly painful. It was a thin layer, but if he ate solid food, it would tear away, leaving gushing wounds around the base of each tooth, until they healed and the teeth were once again covered. When the dentist tried to burn the skin away, it had the same result: rapid regrowth; the teeth were generally covered again within two days. It had been this way his entire life, and Lawrence had just learned to live with it, only eating soft foods.

Then, one day, Lawrence was caught in a fire and a section of his arm suffered third degree burns, requiring a skin graft. The obvious choice for donor tissue was that surrounding his teeth, but the area that needed to be covered was just large enough that the doctor wasn’t sure that the teeth would provide enough donor skin. So, going into surgery, it was decided that, if needed, the doctor would take some skin from Lawrence’s ass as well.

When Lawrence awoke, the doctor was there, so he asked, “Was there enough skin from my mouth?”

“There was. Just barely, but we made it,” replied the doctor with a smile. Then with a wink he added, “Just made it, by the skin of your teeth.”

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A Poorly Planned Approach

PoorlyPlanned

 

Her breasts were mind-numbingly perfect. They were all that I could think about for months. Now that she had decided to give me a chance, and I was standing behind her, I was realizing that I may not have thought it all the way through. I was completely befuddled by the mechanics of the situation; how on earth was I supposed to reach my penis into this centaur’s vagina?

No Stalking – A Guest Comic by Mia Sandara

Mia_67lYxUFHey everyone!
Here is an adorable single panel pun comic done by my good friend Mia ( @triadvstrinity on twitter)!
We decided to do a swap today. Since hers is here, you can check out my comic on her blog (http://www.triadvstrinity.com/tidbits-and-tags/do-nut-pass), which is worth checking out anyway! So once you are done giggling at her goofy comic here, head on over to Mia’s blog and have a look.

Weighed Down with Cash

Weighed_down

Hey Boss,

You weren’t kidding when you said the armored car would be weighed down with cash. Though, it wasn’t exactly what we expected.

Don’t worry, we didn’t get caught or nothing like that. No, we got in just how you said, and we got away clean on the mopeds that your car guy hooked us up with. The guards weren’t no problem neither, we took care of them, nice and easy like always.

Now, you may be asking your self right now, why I’m leaving you a note with your cut of the take, instead of handing it to you directly. That’s because, as you’ll prolly see, I was afraid to be there when you got it, since you might be pretty mad. Trust me, we was all pretty pissed too.

You see, instead of being weighed down with just any cash, this particular car was weighed down with pennies. An entire shipment of rolls of pennies.

On the mopeds, even with all 3 of us guys filling our packs to the top, we could only carry just under $500. After paying your car guy for letting us use the mopeds and filling up the tanks, we was left with $20.50.

So, boss, here you will find your cut of $5.13 (notice we rounded up for your share).

Have a nice day,

Heavy-Foot Duane