Fleshy Teeth

The flesh that grew over Lawrence’s teeth made eating excruciatingly painful. It was a thin layer, but if he ate solid food, it would tear away, leaving gushing wounds around the base of each tooth, until they healed and the teeth were once again covered. When the dentist tried to burn the skin away, it had the same result: rapid regrowth; the teeth were generally covered again within two days. It had been this way his entire life, and Lawrence had just learned to live with it, only eating soft foods.

Then, one day, Lawrence was caught in a fire and a section of his arm suffered third degree burns, requiring a skin graft. The obvious choice for donor tissue was that surrounding his teeth, but the area that needed to be covered was just large enough that the doctor wasn’t sure that the teeth would provide enough donor skin. So, going into surgery, it was decided that, if needed, the doctor would take some skin from Lawrence’s ass as well.

When Lawrence awoke, the doctor was there, so he asked, “Was there enough skin from my mouth?”

“There was. Just barely, but we made it,” replied the doctor with a smile. Then with a wink he added, “Just made it, by the skin of your teeth.”