Grocery List


We had been fighting a lot lately and I had never meant it to get violent, but one shove was all it took. It was usually stupid little things like him not writing things on the shopping list when he used them, him not putting the toilet seat down, or me not picking up after myself. These, though, were just symptoms of bigger monsters lurking below the surface, and when we started bickering about these things, the monsters would peek their heads above water and grin those horrific, toothy grins.

“We all know where this is headed, you just don’t want to admit it yet,” that grin seemed to say.

This time it was about the grocery list. He NEVER wrote anything on the list. I would discover that we had run out of essentials only when I went to use them. As always, I overreacted and it quickly escalated to yelling. Then, when I had finally gotten tired of being interrupted and belittled, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I shoved him. It all happened so quickly.

The trip.

The stumble.

The fall.

The wet crack of his skull on the corner of the table.

The blood so dark it looked almost black, spreading out from his head.

He was dead. He was dead and I had killed him. Was I going to jail? Was this murder? It wasn’t self defense, he never hit me.

“Fuck!” I cried out, looking down at his corpse.

“Get your shit together and clean this mess up,” I muttered to myself, wringing my hands.

Blood was oozing across the linoleum floor of the kitchen now. I reached for the paper towels, but of course, there were none left. SOMEONE hadn’t put it on the list.


Silly Flash Game

Out of curiosity, and for fun, I created a flash, space invaders type game. I needed images, so I took a few from my blog and stitched them together in ways that make absolutely no sense.

The game is pretty dumb, but I thought it might give a few of you a chuckle. Use the left and right arrows to move the polar berry, and the Z key to shoot lasers. No, the enemy poler bears aren’t supposed to shoot back or move, they just sit there. Shoot lasers at them until they are all gone.

WordPress won’t let me embed flash, so if you are curious, you have to click the Dropbox link. I only sort of think that linking it this way will work, please let me know it it doesn’t.



MermaidI had made a promise to my wife and I wanted so badly to keep it, but she must have known what would happen the moment she brought the beautiful mermaid into our home. At first I just tried to not look at the creature as she swam around playfully in her tank. This was quite a feat of will power, given that the tank dominated the largest wall of the living room. We had gotten it installed just for Melinda’s new mermaid. The tank ran all the way from the floor to ceiling, the top accessible only from the attic. Unfortunately, though, Melinda liked to show off our new pet. It wasn’t long before I was forced, by a living room of gawking company, to pretend that my appetite didn’t make me afraid to look at the tight, muscular beauty weaving happily between the strands of synthetic seaweed.

Her thick, red hair trailed behind her, whipping as she turned by flicking her sinewy tail. I let my eyes wander over her length. Her slender shoulders, flexing at every graceful move, was captivating. My eyes lingered only briefly on her thin waste, before slipping below the place where smooth, tan skin faded into scales. Further down below, her legs turned into a long, slick tail, but up near the waist and thighs, she was still very much shaped like a woman. With heat building under my collar, I only let my eyes linger on that perfectly shaped rear end for a moment before turning, admonishing myself – she was half fish and half woman, for god’s sake!

“Would anyone like a top off on their drink?” I asked making to leave the room, a perfect excuse to get out of there without raising suspicion.

The gathered neighbors gave the customary grunt of disinterested lack of attention and I left, but not before one last glance over my shoulder. I might have been okay if it hadn’t been for that last glance. The mermaid and I made eye contact. The shimmer of mischievous humor in those captivating, gray eyes told me that she new my wants. A quick, playful smirk graced her lips in the moment before she broke eye contact to flip around and swim another lap of her tank in the opposite direction.

It was the look in those knowing eyes, the smirk, and the curvature of her body just below where human turned to fish that would pummel my mind without mercy when I tried to sleep. I’d lay there, trying desperately to get her out of my head, but she’d just swim around faster and faster in the tank of my mind, teasing me until I got up to read, or get some late-night work done.

Sometimes during the day I’d sneak glances at her, knowing that it would only make things worse, but unable to help myself. When she’d catch me looking with that hungry look in my eyes, the siren would smile and turn around, peeking over her shoulder as she went, making sure that I was watching her flex her rear end majestically. She was inviting me.

After a week and a half of this, I couldn’t take it any more. Melinda had gone to the bank, the shoe shop, and the grocery store; she’d be gone for a few hours. I climbed into the attic and walked to the top edge of the tank. The mermaid was there already, waiting for me, that smirk on her face. As I reached down to lift her wet body out of the tank, she wrapped her thin arms around me and pulled her body close to mine, her breasts pressing against my chest. As I carried her down the stairs into the kitchen, she leaned her head onto my shoulder, her hot, heavy breathing on my ear.

I laid her down on the kitchen table, it was as good a place as any. As I did, the mermaid looked at me, biting her lip, her hands caressing her breasts. She was mine.

It may have been a wife’s intuition, or perhaps the smell of fish in the air, but Melinda knew what I had done as soon as she walked in.

“You bastard! You promised!” she wailed, running into the kitchen where she found me standing by the table, my clothes still wet.

“I’m sorry, honey,” I said, looking down at the altar of my guilt. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“I hope she was worth it,” Melinda said bitterly, sitting down in a chair at the table in a huff.

“She was very good,” I said, “You can gauge for yourself, I guess. I saved you a prime fillet.”

She looked up at me, placing her purse on the table beside her and said, “That was very thoughtful of you, dear, I’m famished.”